Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Mark Twain's Biography

Samuel Clemens, alias Mark Twain, is an American icon whose razor-sharp wit and inimitable genius have entertained countless readers for more than a century. His many publications include such gallant childhood essentials as The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn, along with many dozens of other works ranging from airy magazine columns to focused, biting anti-imperialist satire.

He was born in Hannibal, Missouri in 1835. The Clemens family consisted of two brothers, a sister, and the family-owned slave, Jenny, whose vivid storytelling was a formative influence on the young Sam. As he was growing up, his parents explained their perspective on the nature of things in the established South, about the slave-owning tradition, and about 'rough western justice.'

Reflections of this pre-war southern upbringing are found in many of Twain's writings, and although his images are quite idyllic, one cannot ignore the constant historical reminders of some of America's more unacceptable social realities.

Sam Clemens first discovered his literary talents through an apprenticeship at a local printing shop. He was exposed to countless books and became an avid reader. For him, a career in journalism was more than natural, but it wasn't until the marriage of his sister that Sam was inspired to real action. Bound by train, he left Hannibal for New York City. Shortly thereafter he found himself in Philadelphia, working in the publishing and journalism fields.

Eventually he relocated to Cincinatti, with the intention of saving enough money to explore the Amazon by way of New Orleans. His method of travel was to be the fateful steamboat, and while contemplating his future, he discovered his deep internal connection with the Mississippi river. Suddenly, he knew he had to learn how to pilot steamboats, and this urge proved stronger than anything he had known before. Stronger, even, than the idea of explorations in South America.

Some years later, after he had left the river to continue his journalistic career, Sam realized he needed a pen-name for the more comedic and fantastic columns he was writing. This was especially necessary since he had been dispatched to Carson City to report the activities of the Nevada legislature. He searched his memory for the proper association and remembered those halcyon river days. As his pen name, he chose a bit of the lingo, relating to the periodic measurement of the distance between the bottom of the steamboat and the riverbed. When the leadsman detected a depth of only twelve feet (two fathoms), he would sound the alert: 'By the maaa-ark, twain!'

While working in Carson City he met his mentor, the popular humorist Artemus Ward, who recognized Clemens' talent and encouraged him to write 'as much as possible.' Mark Twain did precisely that.

Clemens married, and his finely-honed abilities earned him international renown as a writer, lecturer and traveller. Along the way, he composed some of the best-loved and most widely known literature of 19th-century America. As the chancellor of Oxford University told an aged Clemens in 1907: 'Most amiable and charming sir, you shake the sides of the whole world with your merriment.'

Mark Twain spent the remaining three years completing his official autobiography, concluding with the death of his beloved wife. Four months later, on the evening of 10 April 1910, he flipped through a book and bade his doctor 'goodbye'. Thence he drifted into eternal slumber.

Mr. Clemens lives on in the hearts and minds of grateful readers everywhere.

Bio written by Andrew G. Lewis

WTF? (NEW) (not related to mark twain)


In the making of this blog, I ran into the Bess blocker quite a few times. The reasons the sites were blocked were actually pretty funny. Here are the funniest/strangest reasons the Mark Twain sites were blocked:

Profanity -- Mark Twain wrote books in the 1800's. Back then, some words were accepted differently than they are today. Being in HIGH SCHOOL, I think we can handle some swearing.

Humour -- ...um... We're not allowed to laugh???

Games -- Whoever makes games related to Mark Twain must really need something else to do. (see "older posts")

Pornography/nudity -- Mark Twain... AUGH!!! For once, I THANK Bess for blocking something...


Media -- This is why the YouTube vids at the bottom of the page don't work. Why are YouTube and other video sites blocked, anyway? Many of the videos, like the ones I wanted to show here, are very informative and can help with school work, not distract from work.

Free Thought -- If you go into Ms. Lind's room and look on the billboard behind her desk, you'll see a printout of a Bess page that's blocked for this reason. I thought it was fake, but now...

Learning the Truth -- Government conspirators rejoice! You were right!

Because I can -- Bess blocked it because it could... Is it developing intelligence? Maybe. Is it going to block the internet to every human around the world, then take over computers and robots and enslave the human race? Probably. Am I paranoid? Yes. Am I going to laugh when I run away and hide while all of you are enslaved? DEFINITELY.

The end.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Introduction to my author study

My author sudy is about, of course, Mark Twain. For this author study I read and reviewed The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, and countless poems and short stories. If you look at the list of Twain's writings, there are at least 82 stories, poems, etc. that twain wrote in his lifetime (and I think I lost count a few times). In my author study I've included a response to literature essay, several short stories and poems, and more. Please note that the rest of my author study is in Microsoft Word, and i couldn't convert it to the Blog format.

SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM TO WATCH VIDEOS RELATED TO MARK TWAIN

Response to Literature: A Fable

Chris Patterson

Mr. McKay English 11

6/9/08

Response to Literature

A Fable by Mark Twain

A Fable is a fantasy short story by Mark Twain. This story is about how a man paints a masterpiece that’s to be looked at in a mirror. When the artist’s cat goes and tells his animal friends in the forest, the animals want to see the masterpiece as well. The cat brings the animals to the house one by one and has them look at the reflection of the painting in the mirror. However, whenever an animal goes to look at the painting, they unintentionally stand between the mirror and the painting, causing them to only see reflections of themselves. The theme of this story is although you may not be able to see something, you know it’s there.

The characters reveal the theme in obvious ways. The first animal to go to the artist’s house is a donkey. When he returns, he says to the other animals "The cat lied. There was nothing in that hole (they think the mirror is a hole in the wall) but an ass. There wasn't a sign of a flat thing visible. It was a handsome ass, and friendly, but just an ass, and nothing more." (I’m pretty sure that ass just means donkey, and what it sounds like wasn’t intentional…but it’s still pretty funny!) The next character to go was Baloo the Bear. He said that the cat and the donkey lied, and there was nothing but a bear in the mirror. All the other animals went one after the other, and (without realizing it) all they ever saw was themselves reflected in the mirror.

The theme of this story can be applied to everyone on Earth. Nobody can see the air, but everyone knows it’s there. Nobody can see the ocean currents, but everyone knows they’re there. A long time ago, however, people were like the animals from the forest. There were people around the world that thought things like germs and bacteria didn’t exist because they had never seen any (like the animals standing between the mirror and the painting). Somebody (like the cat) might have told them, but the people that didn’t believe in germs wouldn’t believe that person. They thought sicknesses were caused by things like bad smells and angry spirits and such (source: History Channel)

The animals’ attitudes in this story are actually very believable. Although the characters aren’t human, it’s in human nature to not believe in something until it’s been proven or they’ve seen/experienced it themselves. The leader of the animals, the elephant, went to the house after all the others and said that they were all liars and that there was no painting, and that there was nothing but “an elephant in the hole in the wall”. Here’s a question: How the heck did the elephant get in the house? Here’s a serious question: Why do people insist on not believing in things, when all they have to do is change their point of view? Mark Twain did an excellent job on this story because it shows how naïve people (or in this case animals) can be.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Poem - The Aged Pilot Man *****

I found a writing by Mark Twain that I actually Like!! I give it a 5/5.

--> It came to my attention that the poem didn't copy right. I edited this post and got rid of the poem and I found the original site. Follow this link and scroll down to "The Aged Pilot Man".<-- http://www.squidoo.com/poetry-by-mark-twain

List of writings by Mark Twain

Be warned, there is a LOT! ALL of these titles are links to the complete story/poem/essay. I'm pretty sure they're legal, but if they are illegal I should be fine because they're only links. If I don't show up for class for a few days in a row, you'll know I was wrong ;) .

Fiction
A Connecticut Yankee In King Arthur's Court
A Double Barrelled Detective Story
A Horse's Tale
Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn
Adventures Of Tom Sawyer
Extract from Captain Stormfield's Visit to Heaven
The Gilded Age
The Mysterious Stranger
The Prince and the Pauper
The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson
Those Extraordinary Twins
Tom Sawyer Abroad
Tom Sawyer, Detective

Non-Fiction
A Tramp Abroad
Christian Science
Innocents Abroad
Is Shakespeare Dead?
Life On The Mississippi
Roughing It

short stories, essays
A Burlesque Biography
A Cure For The Blues
A Dog's Tale
A Fable
A Helpless Situation
A Humane Word From Satan
A Letter To The Secretary Of The Treasury
A Monument To Adam
A Telephonic Conversation
Advice To Little Girls
Amended Obituaries
An Entertaining Article
At The Appetite-Cure
Diplomatic Pay And Clothes
Does The Race Of Man Love A Lord?
Edward Mills And George Benton: A Tale
Eve's Diary
Extracts From Adam's Diary
General Washington's Negro Body-Servant
How To Tell A Story
Hunting The Deceitful Turkey
Is He Living Or Is He Dead?
Italian With Grammar
Italian Without A Master
Luck
Meisterchaft
Mental Telegraphy Again
My Boyhood Dreams
My Debut As A Literary Person
My First Lie, And How I Got Out Of It
My Military Campaign
Portrait Of King William III
Some Rambling Notes Of An Idle Excursion
Stiring Times In Austria
The $30,000 Bequest
The Californian's Tale
The Captain's Story
The Danger Of Lying In Bed
The Enemy Conquered; or, Love Triumphant
The Esquimaux Maiden's Romance
The Facts Concerning The Recent Carnival Of Crime In Connecticut
The First Writing-Machines
The Five Boons of Life
The Invalid's Story
The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg
The McWilliamses And The Burglar Alarm
The Stolen White Elephant
To The Above Old People
Was It Heaven? Or Hell?
What Paul Bourget Thinks of Us
Wit Inspirations Of The "Two-Year-Olds"

Poems
A Sweltering Day In Australia
Genius
Ode to Stephen Bowling Dots, Dec'd
The Aged Pilot Man
Those Annual Bills
To Jennie

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Short story: A Fable

This is a very interesting short story I found through a series of links from other Twain sites. I actually enjoyed this one! You can find it on http://www.mtwain.com/A_Fable/0.html

Once upon a time an artist who had painted a small and very beautiful
picture placed it so that he could see it in the mirror. He said, "This
doubles the distance and softens it, and it is twice as lovely as it was
before."

The animals out in the woods heard of this through the housecat, who was
greatly admired by them because he was so learned, and so refined and
civilized, and so polite and high-bred, and could tell them so much which
they didn't know before, and were not certain about afterward. They were
much excited about this new piece of gossip, and they asked questions, so
as to get at a full understanding of it. They asked what a picture was,
and the cat explained.

"It is a flat thing," he said; "wonderfully flat, marvelously flat,
enchantingly flat and elegant. And, oh, so beautiful!"

That excited them almost to a frenzy, and they said they would give the
world to see it. Then the bear asked:

"What is it that makes it so beautiful?"

"It is the looks of it," said the cat.

This filled them with admiration and uncertainty, and they were more
excited than ever. Then the cow asked:

"What is a mirror?"

"It is a hole in the wall," said the cat. "You look in it, and there you
see the picture, and it is so dainty and charming and ethereal and
inspiring in its unimaginable beauty that your head turns round and
round, and you almost swoon with ecstasy."

The ass had not said anything as yet; he now began to throw doubts.
He said there had never been anything as beautiful as this before, and
probably wasn't now. He said that when it took a whole basketful of
sesquipedalian adjectives to whoop up a thing of beauty, it was time for
suspicion.

It was easy to see that these doubts were having an effect upon the
animals, so the cat went off offended. The subject was dropped for a
couple of days, but in the meantime curiosity was taking a fresh start,
aid there was a revival of interest perceptible. Then the animals
assailed the ass for spoiling what could possibly have been a pleasure to
them, on a mere suspicion that the picture was not beautiful, without any
evidence that such was the case. The ass was not, troubled; he was calm,
and said there was one way to find out who was in the right, himself or
the cat: he would go and look in that hole, and come back and tell what
he found there. The animals felt relieved and grateful, and asked him to
go at once--which he did.

But he did not know where he ought to stand; and so, through error, he
stood between the picture and the mirror. The result was that the
picture had no chance, and didn't show up. He returned home and said:

"The cat lied. There was nothing in that hole but an ass. There wasn't
a sign of a flat thing visible. It was a handsome ass, and friendly, but
just an ass, and nothing more."

The elephant asked:

"Did you see it good and clear? Were you close to it?"

"I saw it good and clear, O Hathi, King of Beasts. I was so close that I
touched noses with it."

"This is very strange," said the elephant; "the cat was always truthful
before--as far as we could make out. Let another witness try. Go,
Baloo, look in the hole, and come and report."

So the bear went. When he came back, he said:

"Both the cat and the ass have lied; there was nothing in the hole but a
bear."

Great was the surprise and puzzlement of the animals. Each was now
anxious to make the test himself and get at the straight truth. The
elephant sent them one at a time.

First, the cow. She found nothing in the hole but a cow.

The tiger found nothing in it but a tiger.

The lion found nothing in it but a lion.

The leopard found nothing in it but a leopard.

The camel found a camel, and nothing more.

Then Hathi was wroth, and said he would have the truth, if he had to go
and fetch it himself. When he returned, he abused his whole subjectry
for liars, and was in an unappeasable fury with the moral and mental
blindness of the cat. He said that anybody but a near-sighted fool could
see that there was nothing in the hole but an elephant.

MORAL, BY THE CAT

You can find in a text whatever you bring, if you will stand between it
and the mirror of your imagination. You may not see your ears, but they
will be there.


It's pretty philosophical, don't ya think? I give it a 5/5.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

short story review: From the London Times of 1904

found on www.wondersmith.com/scifi/1904.htm

This sci-fi short story was published in 1898, shortly after Mark Twain had suffered a failed business venture, the death of his favorite daughter, and the deterioration of his wife's health. This may have been one reason that The London Times of 1904 seemed so dark and creepy.

This story also seemed empty compared to Twain's previous books and short stories. I didn't like his Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn books, true, but this short story is really lacking personality.

Blake Linton Wilfong, the editor that published this story online, says he made minor changes to the plot and deleted the original second ending. I searched for the original story, but failed to find it.

review for this version of the short story: 4/5

Even thogh it's rather dark, I found it interesting. The story seemed more believable, if not out of character for Twain.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Tom Sawyer's Treasure Hunt: The Game

I finally completed my tom sawyer video game!

go to http://www.archive.org/ and type in the search bar "tom sawyer treasure hunt game" and click on the complete version.

on one level there is a glitch where an explosion animation keeps repeating itself, and i couldn't fix it. Other than that, everything is complete and bug free!

Friday, March 7, 2008

Modern Review of Huckleberry Finn

Here's my critique of Huckleberry Finn:

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is the direct sequel to The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. Both books were written by Mark Twain in the 1880's.

At their time, TS and HF were the stories that everyone that could read wanted to read. Because of this, Mark Twain became a legendary American Author.

Times change, however. Ain't nobody speakin' like them there folks in this here story no more, and ignoring them rules of grammar.

HF would be a good story, but it's too old and out of date to be interesting. I'm sure there are a few people in the South that still speak like the characters in this book, but they're a dying breed. Most people in the US all speak the same, albeit with varying accents. The text in HF is extremely hard to understand. Read pages 279 (starting with "Well, Sister Phelps...") to 282 (ending with "...took a walk.")

If somebody could convert HF, and maybe even TS, into modern text, then this would be a great book, and I wouldn't have a problem with it.

One huge reason I didn't like this book (though not quite as huge as the fact I couldn't understand half the story) was the use of the N-Word so many times. It was said aproximately 230 times! (silverchips.mbhs.edu/inside.php?sid=5187 - 81k)

All in all, I give this book a 2 out of 5

score: 2/5

MS Word Author study

The rest of this author study was done on MS Word. When the author study is due I will print it and hand it in, along with the blog.