Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Mark Twain's Biography

Samuel Clemens, alias Mark Twain, is an American icon whose razor-sharp wit and inimitable genius have entertained countless readers for more than a century. His many publications include such gallant childhood essentials as The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn, along with many dozens of other works ranging from airy magazine columns to focused, biting anti-imperialist satire.

He was born in Hannibal, Missouri in 1835. The Clemens family consisted of two brothers, a sister, and the family-owned slave, Jenny, whose vivid storytelling was a formative influence on the young Sam. As he was growing up, his parents explained their perspective on the nature of things in the established South, about the slave-owning tradition, and about 'rough western justice.'

Reflections of this pre-war southern upbringing are found in many of Twain's writings, and although his images are quite idyllic, one cannot ignore the constant historical reminders of some of America's more unacceptable social realities.

Sam Clemens first discovered his literary talents through an apprenticeship at a local printing shop. He was exposed to countless books and became an avid reader. For him, a career in journalism was more than natural, but it wasn't until the marriage of his sister that Sam was inspired to real action. Bound by train, he left Hannibal for New York City. Shortly thereafter he found himself in Philadelphia, working in the publishing and journalism fields.

Eventually he relocated to Cincinatti, with the intention of saving enough money to explore the Amazon by way of New Orleans. His method of travel was to be the fateful steamboat, and while contemplating his future, he discovered his deep internal connection with the Mississippi river. Suddenly, he knew he had to learn how to pilot steamboats, and this urge proved stronger than anything he had known before. Stronger, even, than the idea of explorations in South America.

Some years later, after he had left the river to continue his journalistic career, Sam realized he needed a pen-name for the more comedic and fantastic columns he was writing. This was especially necessary since he had been dispatched to Carson City to report the activities of the Nevada legislature. He searched his memory for the proper association and remembered those halcyon river days. As his pen name, he chose a bit of the lingo, relating to the periodic measurement of the distance between the bottom of the steamboat and the riverbed. When the leadsman detected a depth of only twelve feet (two fathoms), he would sound the alert: 'By the maaa-ark, twain!'

While working in Carson City he met his mentor, the popular humorist Artemus Ward, who recognized Clemens' talent and encouraged him to write 'as much as possible.' Mark Twain did precisely that.

Clemens married, and his finely-honed abilities earned him international renown as a writer, lecturer and traveller. Along the way, he composed some of the best-loved and most widely known literature of 19th-century America. As the chancellor of Oxford University told an aged Clemens in 1907: 'Most amiable and charming sir, you shake the sides of the whole world with your merriment.'

Mark Twain spent the remaining three years completing his official autobiography, concluding with the death of his beloved wife. Four months later, on the evening of 10 April 1910, he flipped through a book and bade his doctor 'goodbye'. Thence he drifted into eternal slumber.

Mr. Clemens lives on in the hearts and minds of grateful readers everywhere.

Bio written by Andrew G. Lewis

WTF? (NEW) (not related to mark twain)


In the making of this blog, I ran into the Bess blocker quite a few times. The reasons the sites were blocked were actually pretty funny. Here are the funniest/strangest reasons the Mark Twain sites were blocked:

Profanity -- Mark Twain wrote books in the 1800's. Back then, some words were accepted differently than they are today. Being in HIGH SCHOOL, I think we can handle some swearing.

Humour -- ...um... We're not allowed to laugh???

Games -- Whoever makes games related to Mark Twain must really need something else to do. (see "older posts")

Pornography/nudity -- Mark Twain... AUGH!!! For once, I THANK Bess for blocking something...


Media -- This is why the YouTube vids at the bottom of the page don't work. Why are YouTube and other video sites blocked, anyway? Many of the videos, like the ones I wanted to show here, are very informative and can help with school work, not distract from work.

Free Thought -- If you go into Ms. Lind's room and look on the billboard behind her desk, you'll see a printout of a Bess page that's blocked for this reason. I thought it was fake, but now...

Learning the Truth -- Government conspirators rejoice! You were right!

Because I can -- Bess blocked it because it could... Is it developing intelligence? Maybe. Is it going to block the internet to every human around the world, then take over computers and robots and enslave the human race? Probably. Am I paranoid? Yes. Am I going to laugh when I run away and hide while all of you are enslaved? DEFINITELY.

The end.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Introduction to my author study

My author sudy is about, of course, Mark Twain. For this author study I read and reviewed The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, and countless poems and short stories. If you look at the list of Twain's writings, there are at least 82 stories, poems, etc. that twain wrote in his lifetime (and I think I lost count a few times). In my author study I've included a response to literature essay, several short stories and poems, and more. Please note that the rest of my author study is in Microsoft Word, and i couldn't convert it to the Blog format.

SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM TO WATCH VIDEOS RELATED TO MARK TWAIN

Response to Literature: A Fable

Chris Patterson

Mr. McKay English 11

6/9/08

Response to Literature

A Fable by Mark Twain

A Fable is a fantasy short story by Mark Twain. This story is about how a man paints a masterpiece that’s to be looked at in a mirror. When the artist’s cat goes and tells his animal friends in the forest, the animals want to see the masterpiece as well. The cat brings the animals to the house one by one and has them look at the reflection of the painting in the mirror. However, whenever an animal goes to look at the painting, they unintentionally stand between the mirror and the painting, causing them to only see reflections of themselves. The theme of this story is although you may not be able to see something, you know it’s there.

The characters reveal the theme in obvious ways. The first animal to go to the artist’s house is a donkey. When he returns, he says to the other animals "The cat lied. There was nothing in that hole (they think the mirror is a hole in the wall) but an ass. There wasn't a sign of a flat thing visible. It was a handsome ass, and friendly, but just an ass, and nothing more." (I’m pretty sure that ass just means donkey, and what it sounds like wasn’t intentional…but it’s still pretty funny!) The next character to go was Baloo the Bear. He said that the cat and the donkey lied, and there was nothing but a bear in the mirror. All the other animals went one after the other, and (without realizing it) all they ever saw was themselves reflected in the mirror.

The theme of this story can be applied to everyone on Earth. Nobody can see the air, but everyone knows it’s there. Nobody can see the ocean currents, but everyone knows they’re there. A long time ago, however, people were like the animals from the forest. There were people around the world that thought things like germs and bacteria didn’t exist because they had never seen any (like the animals standing between the mirror and the painting). Somebody (like the cat) might have told them, but the people that didn’t believe in germs wouldn’t believe that person. They thought sicknesses were caused by things like bad smells and angry spirits and such (source: History Channel)

The animals’ attitudes in this story are actually very believable. Although the characters aren’t human, it’s in human nature to not believe in something until it’s been proven or they’ve seen/experienced it themselves. The leader of the animals, the elephant, went to the house after all the others and said that they were all liars and that there was no painting, and that there was nothing but “an elephant in the hole in the wall”. Here’s a question: How the heck did the elephant get in the house? Here’s a serious question: Why do people insist on not believing in things, when all they have to do is change their point of view? Mark Twain did an excellent job on this story because it shows how naïve people (or in this case animals) can be.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Poem - The Aged Pilot Man *****

I found a writing by Mark Twain that I actually Like!! I give it a 5/5.

--> It came to my attention that the poem didn't copy right. I edited this post and got rid of the poem and I found the original site. Follow this link and scroll down to "The Aged Pilot Man".<-- http://www.squidoo.com/poetry-by-mark-twain

List of writings by Mark Twain

Be warned, there is a LOT! ALL of these titles are links to the complete story/poem/essay. I'm pretty sure they're legal, but if they are illegal I should be fine because they're only links. If I don't show up for class for a few days in a row, you'll know I was wrong ;) .

Fiction
A Connecticut Yankee In King Arthur's Court
A Double Barrelled Detective Story
A Horse's Tale
Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn
Adventures Of Tom Sawyer
Extract from Captain Stormfield's Visit to Heaven
The Gilded Age
The Mysterious Stranger
The Prince and the Pauper
The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson
Those Extraordinary Twins
Tom Sawyer Abroad
Tom Sawyer, Detective

Non-Fiction
A Tramp Abroad
Christian Science
Innocents Abroad
Is Shakespeare Dead?
Life On The Mississippi
Roughing It

short stories, essays
A Burlesque Biography
A Cure For The Blues
A Dog's Tale
A Fable
A Helpless Situation
A Humane Word From Satan
A Letter To The Secretary Of The Treasury
A Monument To Adam
A Telephonic Conversation
Advice To Little Girls
Amended Obituaries
An Entertaining Article
At The Appetite-Cure
Diplomatic Pay And Clothes
Does The Race Of Man Love A Lord?
Edward Mills And George Benton: A Tale
Eve's Diary
Extracts From Adam's Diary
General Washington's Negro Body-Servant
How To Tell A Story
Hunting The Deceitful Turkey
Is He Living Or Is He Dead?
Italian With Grammar
Italian Without A Master
Luck
Meisterchaft
Mental Telegraphy Again
My Boyhood Dreams
My Debut As A Literary Person
My First Lie, And How I Got Out Of It
My Military Campaign
Portrait Of King William III
Some Rambling Notes Of An Idle Excursion
Stiring Times In Austria
The $30,000 Bequest
The Californian's Tale
The Captain's Story
The Danger Of Lying In Bed
The Enemy Conquered; or, Love Triumphant
The Esquimaux Maiden's Romance
The Facts Concerning The Recent Carnival Of Crime In Connecticut
The First Writing-Machines
The Five Boons of Life
The Invalid's Story
The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg
The McWilliamses And The Burglar Alarm
The Stolen White Elephant
To The Above Old People
Was It Heaven? Or Hell?
What Paul Bourget Thinks of Us
Wit Inspirations Of The "Two-Year-Olds"

Poems
A Sweltering Day In Australia
Genius
Ode to Stephen Bowling Dots, Dec'd
The Aged Pilot Man
Those Annual Bills
To Jennie